Hey, remember me? I used to be a writer on this blog. I’d tell you stories of a time I shit my pants or a time I cried at a commercial or the time I shit my pants crying at a commercial.
I love to share in the form of the written word. I find it extremely comforting to tell my stories, to turn a word or a phrase one of beautiful daughters said into some life lesson I got to learn.
With both my daughters out and about doing their own things it leaves me with a lot of time on my hands outside of the work office. I’m no longer a driver for my youngest with her having a car. And with the oldest at college living her best life I’m relegated to a few texts a day and a call every other day or so. I’m not complaining. I am enjoying this freedom of movement. I go to my wife’s dance fitness class twice a week with mostly all women. I play a little guitar and with the weather improving I will golf at least once a week. Not complaining at all, just adjusting a bit.
I’ll give you an example of just how different my life is. My wife and daughter took their annual cheerleading trip with this year being in Myrtle Beach. A full 5 days with just the dog and I. I have always loved this time. Using one night to hang out and have too many drinks and then just binging tv and trying to melt into the couch for as long as humanly possible before the dog and I head out for a walk to shake the cobwebs out.
This year though, I was up each morning for a 5 am workout class. I went to watch some college hockey with a very good friend of mine and I had my brother over to watch March Madness hoops. I also committed to taking my 8 and 5 year old nieces to visit their cousin at college 2 hours away for lunch and a quick walk around the campus. You read that right, on my weekend with all this freedom to do whatever I wanted I chose to take almost a full day to travel with my two nieces. I am no longer who I was….
And boy did I pay for that decision.
Everything was great to start the day. Ride up was filled with sing- a-longs and conversations about farting noises and how dumb boys are. It’s extremely rare that I am the smartest one in a conversation so I was enjoying these moments, cause I probably have maybe another 6 months or so before they both will crush me with their girl brains. My kids are too smart for fart jokes now so I really was enjoying our time together. Our time at my daughters college was short and sweet. I got to get my eyes on my college girl and just get another reassurance that she is crushing her life there and my nieces got to see their oldest cousin and her sorority house and meet her friends. All in all really a great time.
That is until maybe 30 minutes into our ride home. I had turned up the heat a bit, figuring a nice nap for the two girls would be in order. It was a bit of a ride and a long day. My oldest passes out in a car if you even mention you put the heat on so I figured maybe that would work for my nieces, but I was wrong. I could hear them laughing and joking the backseat and quietly planning to go back to one of their houses and maybe hang out for a few more hours and do dinner together. I think to myself, another quick chance to be a cool uncle. I tell them I will text their moms and just check if that is okay. See, I am out of practice. I didn’t even consider we could get a “no, we have things we need to do” text back. Why, why didn’t I think of that???? A Sunday night, you idiot. And why, why did I just say nothing. Why did I tell them their moms want them home. I could have just said “Oh, they haven’t written back yet”…. I am such an idiot, so out of practice.
So, for the last hour and a half of the ride home I got pouting and crying and “WHHHHHHHYYYY, UNCLE MARKY? MY MOM HATES ME HAVING FUN”…. I know, I know, I know. I can’t believe I forgot how to be a Dad for that damn car ride. I could have just kept my mouth shut and let their Moms and Dads deal with the fallout when we got home. Just when I think I have this whole cool Uncle thing down I go and remind myself how dumb I actually can be. Could have just stuck to my original plan, feed them sugar, rile them up and drop them off just before they lose their minds. I never was able to bring them back to singing songs or provide one ounce of joy. The damage had been done. The toothpaste can’t go back in the jar as they say…
I thought I had learned all the right lessons from Auntie Kathy and Uncle John but it’s back to the drawing board for me.
I hope my brother and sister and their families get a small amount of joy in my pain. I hope they are able to smile knowing their kids caused Uncle Marky to contemplate driving off the road. We all share in the good moments. Those are easy to find. We are lucky in that way. For me now, it’s a Friday night at 8 pm when I am just settling on the couch where I smile to myself thinking about what hell my niece and nephew could be putting my brother through at the moment. Which dolls or ninja turtle can’t he find that is the key to getting his children to sleep. Ah, those are the moments as the oldest brother I get to cherish now. Those are my rewards for all those years where I was in their spots. All those years they lived their lives however they wanted to.
If you don’t take joy in your siblings small pains I can’t relate to you. I’d kill for them. I’d die for them. But, until I have to do either one I will enjoy them trying to be parents to maniac children. It fills my cold dead heart with such joy watching them figure out this parenting thing. I love my nieces and nephews for many reasons, they give me so much joy and so much to look forward to in watching them grow. Keep giving your parents hell I will quietly be smiling somewhere as you do it.
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