No Matter What

Years ago, my older brother and I were having a conversation about some friends we used to know. Friends that, in high school, were so important and we thought we’d never lose touch with, now we wouldn’t recognize them if they were standing right in front of us. It’s strange how time can erode a powerful connection. The conversation was depressing me. I started to wonder if there was any relationship that was for life, or are we all destined to be alone. My brother sensed my feeling, put his hand on my shoulder, and looked at me, reaching my soul.

“I’ll always be there for you, no mater what. We are brothers, we are family, we are blood.”

That instantly made me feel better, safe, and secure. If the sky falls around me, I’ll always have my brother. Nothing can change that.

A few years later, my brother was killed by a drunk driver.

I collected a number of problems from that, including some nasty abandonment issues. I was angry for a long time, feeling betrayed. The one person I was sure would never leave me, did. I felt alone.

Over the years I have realized he kept his word, he was with me. Sometimes he was like a ghost. Sometimes he would check on me though one of our dogs, or a random bird would fly by. Sometimes we would connect through other people; strangers or close friends. They would say or do something that my brother would know is unique, communicating through them. He kept his word, he was and is there for me. Not even death could stop him. No matter what.

Everyone knows things fade in life. The cool car you always wanted breaks down, the outfit goes out of style. The career will end. Even your looks and body will betray you. All that work you put in to stay fit and good looking won’t last, that will fade and erode too. So what really matters? What lasts? Seems like memories are forever, they are with you as long as you want them to be. Good memories are usually connected to a good person. Unconditional love and companionship gets much more valuable as you get older. Someone to be there when the car breaks down, the outfit goes out of style, the career ends, or you develop health issues.

There are some people in your life that will always be there for you. Family is an easy one; for the most part your family will always have your back, but there are others who you just know connect with you. You know they will never leave you, no matter what. It doesn’t have to be a long term friend you’ve had since grade school, it could be someone you met a few years ago. Some people just have that quality of character and loyalty. You know you can depend on them in ten years, ten months, or ten minutes. You call, they answer, you ask for anything, they will be there. Like brothers, like family, like blood.

It’s important to acknowledge and appreciate these friends and put them in a special place in your life. Not everyone has them. I am fortunate to have many. I am grateful, truly. The best way to show my gratitude is to return the favor. If not today, I’m always on stand by, ready to support at any time. No matter what.