My boy Max

I’ve written this blog a thousand different times over the last few days. This story will be just me babbling. I won’t find the perfect words. I’m too sad to find them if I am being completely honest.

Last week, our family dog Max (Maximus, Maxy Tiggs, Max Tigger) took his trip to the far away farm, or over the rainbow bridge, or whatever analogy you have for doggy heaven.

As gut wrenching as the day was, we were really lucky how it all worked out. We were able to have our daughter come home from college to spend time with him, so my whole family was there. We spent the day crying, hugging, and spoiling my boy Max as much as we could.

When it was time to take him to the vet our tribe collected themselves and pushed forward. We sat silently in the car and all prayed this would be a very long car ride. I shuffled through a million songs on my Spotify account because I couldn’t find a song that would come close to how we all were feeling.

The vet was awesome in the worst way possible. They knew what they were doing, and they knew we had absolutely no clue what we were doing. We all sat with Max, and I held him as he drifted off to doggy heaven. He left this world with his favorite four by his side and he knew exactly how we felt about him. Most of us I imagine don’t get to go out that way.

To the kids Max was a constant. They barely have any memories at all without him. He was a perfect comfort dog. “Oh, you’re sad? Oh, you’re tired? Oh, you’re sick? … let me just get comfortable with you on the couch.”  He had this way of just looking at you and knowing it was his time to just help to ground you and show you nothing was more important than catching a little snuggle time with Maxy Boy.

But Max’s favorite person was my wife, Amy. She was the only one that let him lick her face without consequences. She never pushed him away when he cuddled her no matter how comfortable she was at the time. He slept at her feet almost every night of his 14 years with us. She was his comfort when Max’s Dad was ready to murder him for one of his million offenses. 

My relationship with Max though is much more complicated than that. I only agreed to have him come to live with us if kids and wife would do all the work.  I’m not a dog person, I never grew up with dogs. I could tolerate a dog in small doses but never envisioned myself as a dog owner. I would help obviously, but we needed girls to learn responsibilities and caring for a dog.  I think, and I am not exaggerating, that may have lasted a week. They did not learn anything about responsibility from Max. This dog was Mom and Dad’s responsibility. As it should be, I guess.

I’ve gotten the chance to spend the most time with Max in his 14 years. I did a lot of working from home, and with kids and wife busy at school and work I was left to care for him.  So, he relied on me even when they were home. On a day where I was working he would lay around and do absolutely nothing until I got on my first zoom call of the day.  Then he would bark and run up and down the stairs and sit by the door to be let out. It became a thing on the calls that I always needed to “step away for a second” to let him out or in from the back yard. He then proceeded to sit near me and lose his absolute mind if any car had the nerve to drive down our little street. He put the fear of God into any mailman he ever saw. I wish I had a nickel for every time I actually told them “He’s absolutely harmless. Just like his dad, all bark and no bite,” I’d be a very rich man.

Max was, in the nicest of terms a huge pain in my ass. Constantly stealing food from me or barking at me until I sacrificed a portion of my meal to him. He would immediately steal your seat on the couch the second you got up. He was addicted to whatever heat was available and would pray his good looks would just make you pick a new seat when you went to sit back down.

He was a master at waiting for me to be completely comfortable and then he needed water, or a scoop of food or to go outside to the bathroom. He was like attempting to put a 3-year-old to sleep in their own room or own bed every night. If you have been there, you know exactly what I mean. Every excuse to just not let you go to bed on your own.  Man did he love to get himself wrapped around our big back yard tree so I had to go out and untangle him at 3 am in the dead of winter in my underwear. I swear he laughed at me every time, just hearing me whisper “I hate you Max, you dumb dumb dog” as I looked for whatever footwear I could steal at the back door.

Him and I fought all the time.  He knew when I walked in the house with groceries or something heavy that if he just stood in my way, he could piss me off. It’s like he waited for me to trip a little and whisper yell “god damnit Max” and then he would go back to his spot on the couch. We had constant battles in bed. I would periodically buy him a little bed to use so he could have as much space as he wanted, but he would either eat the bed or let it sit there for months until I gave up. He liked sleeping in bed with my wife and I.  He would fight me for space for hours, finally settling wherever my wife’s feet were.

Man, he was a pain in the ass! But, I miss him completely. I miss everything about him. After he passed, I honestly thought I would be fine. I didn’t really understand the silence he would create in his absence. All those things that made him our family dog. Like the times he would stretch his body out to reach the window to see who had the nerve to come down our street and he would let out a little fart.

I’d give anything for another fight with you Max. For now, I will cry when I think of you. I will mourn the loss of the dog I never ever thought I wanted. Someday I will think of you and smile. Just not yet buddy. I wasn’t ready to see you go. You are completely missed and really loved Max. My only comfort is that I know you knew that.

No matter how many dogs I end up letting into my home as it grows no one will get to say they made me a dog person, that title will forever go to you, my Maxy Boy. Thank you Max.

I searched for a million different quotes to attempt to sum up my feelings on my boy Max, but I should have known I did not have to go much further than my family’s favorite movie. A movie Max has watched no less than a hundred times.

Heroes get remembered, but Legends never die.

I will hold you in my heart forever Max.