As I start to write this my youngest daughter is preparing for the finals in Disney for her cheer team. She is completing on the last day of her last year in cheer. Her team has made it to the finals of the biggest competition in the sport of Cheer. In her senior year, her final year of cheer, she gets to compete in the finals. For her mom Amy, who has been to every single comp, and been a team mom for years and years, this is poetic. This is where life just reminds you sometimes that someone is out there paying attention. All her hard work, all her struggles in the sport, setbacks and triumphs she gets to leave it out on the mat one last time.
For her dad, it’s another “last”. We are in the season of lasts as my baby finishes out her senior year of high school. I hate this season so much. I’m happy, I’m sad, and I’m not ready for all her next set of “firsts”. She’s ready, I’m not.
I have two daughters and Kiley is the baby. So, I have done and seen all these “lasts”. I have also seen a ton of “firsts” from my oldest. I thought because of that all of Kiley’s moments would be a little easier. What I learned though as Kiley was having success at her competition in Disney is an overwhelming feeling of “I wish I was there”. I didn’t travel with them to this competition. I don’t really travel to many of them, for whatever reason I was left home to keep things moving there. And, honestly, I loved that my wife and Kiley get to spend time with each other, just the two of them. They are extremely close.
But I was home getting updates about her team moving on to the final round of the competition in Disney and I could feel her excitement. My Kiley is very reserved, never ever braggadocios. She keeps her feelings in lots of times. In fact, she had won an award at her cheer gym for athlete of the month just a few days prior and never mentioned it to any of us. As I talked to Amy, I could hear in her voice the happiness she was feeling for Kiley. And I was extremely jealous I did not get to see it with my own two eyes.
On the big night of her final performance, I invited my mother and father-in-law over to watch the live stream of it. We sat patiently, nervously waiting for Kiley’s team to hit the mat. We discussed the other time we did this and her team had a fall and were knocked out of the competition. But, tonight felt different. As nervous as I was for her, I knew that Kiley wasn’t nervous at all. She was doing what she loved for so many years for the final time, and she wasn’t going to fail. She absolutely crushed it. I texted Amy saying that it looked awesome on tv and I think it was a hit. A hit is what they call it in the sport when you don’t get any deductions in the routine. She texted back right away that it looked perfect in person also. I told my mother and father-in-law that what we saw on tv was confirmed and that Kiley was happy.
They left to go home, and I sat alone on the couch. I buried my head in my hands, and I cried like I always cry. All the feelings, that little kid doing town cheer for the first time. That first ride home from a competition wondering with my wife if we were as crazy as the other cheer parents. That first competition I had to go to on my own with Amy working. The screaming fights over hair and makeup. All of it just hit me. Not sad at all it was over, more extremely grateful for Kiley’s journey in this sport. She was with her friends, and she was with the person who completely dives into whatever they are doing with both feet always and forever. Amy doesn’t write stories bragging about crying over her kids’ lives. She can’t, because she is always there and responsible as a coach or a team mom or one of the million other hats she wears for her kids.
Kiley will look back at her cheer career with memories of competitions and practices, long car and plane rides, and tears of joy and sorrow will fill her memory. But, just off to the side of the picture will be her mom. Ready to catch her when she falls or celebrate her when she wins. Kiley and Amy got to share this incredible ride together. Fitting it ended together with her team being in the last award ceremony of the competition.
Kiley’s team finished 6th in the country. The best her teams have ever done. A cheerleading career to be incredibly proud of.
And again, I am reminded just how damn lucky I am to live this life. I get a front row seat to watch Amy raise our girls. Nobody has it better than me.
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