Music is a funny thing.   It can bring your mind right back to a specific time in your life.  You can remember what you were wearing, who you were with.  The older I get the more I listen to the music that I thought my parents were dorks for listening to when I was growing up.  Recently, I have been really into Motown music as it reminds me of my grandmother.  I can see her kitchen and I can smell the sauce cooking.

My daughter is 13 so I will search for some songs and try to get them to her before they become popular and she pretends like I am still cool.

It seems like every other week when we are in the car and a song comes on I will say “this is my favorite song of all time” and the kids laugh and say that I have about 75 songs I say that about.

Music is a GREAT way for the kids and I to connect. I play them something, they both say they hate it, and then I will catch another song by that artist on my daughters Spotify account.  We search for songs we think each of us would like. My kids will play a song and laugh when I try to do the rap part of the song, because they KNOW I am not cool enough to pull it off.

The best example of a song in my family that just brings us together also happens to be the greatest song ever composed. I think as you are reading you may want some background noise so click this link to get you in the right mood.

This is a song that I used to sing by myself. It used to be a “guilty pleasure” song.  I don’t remember the first time I heard it.  I wish I knew how others found out I liked this song, but it has been so long I can’t remember.  I know my girlfriend, now wife, used to sing it with me whenever it was on.  The song was always just something silly, something to put a smile on my face, something I could sing because I knew all the words.

The wife and I introduced the song to the kids and they would sing and laugh and we would all be smiling for the entire 3 minutes and 8 seconds of the song.

The kids were screaming at each other on Saturday about a brush. Doors were slamming, bad words were used.  They were being 13 and 11 year olds, each one trying to get the last hurtful word in.  Boys just punch each other and then are best friends again, girls are RUTHLESS.

Sunday on the drive up for Easter lunch/dinner with the family the kids put on a 2000’s playlist from Spotify. We have some laughs, talked about some of the songs.  It was a good time. Then Stay by Lisa Loeb came on.  The oldest paused the song so we all can be ready to sing.  The wife, who is working on the laptop, closes it and all are ready.  The song starts and pretty soon it is just 4 people cruising on the highway in a minivan SCREAMING  “And you say, I only hear what I want to, I don’t listen hard, don’t pay attention to the distance that you’re running, to anyone, anywhere, I don’t understand if you really care, I’m only hearing negative: no, no, no”.  There was not even a thought about the outside world.   None of us stopped when traffic slowed down and cars surrounded us.   No one did the move where you want to sing but you don’t want others to see you so you cover your mouth a little.

For us, that song is a little reminder we are all in this together. It centers us for a minute, even if we currently hate each other for something.   The song used to bring me back to being a kid and yelling it in the shower, now it immediately makes me think of my family and just puts a smile on my face.  I can picture their smiles, I can hear their laughter….Just as The Four Tops puts me back in the Grandmother’s kitchen.

Find your song…and share it with the people you love.


4 Tops








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