The Light

All stories start with the author staring at a blank page.  As you start typing you get a few ideas, write them down, delete them, and start over and where the story goes it goes.  You may sit down with a topic in mind, but each time I try that I end up writing something completely different.  The stories swirl in my head for days or weeks before they are ready to be told.  I write them, read them, think about who they might affect, and then if I like it I publish, if I don’t it stays as just an idea for now.

Blank pages remind me of my beautiful god daughter.  See, she is a 2 year old crazy, smart kid.  But, her story only has a chapter or two in it, her story is just starting.  As adults, we have books we could write about our experiences.   As I watch my kids grow, I think about what their books will say.  I think about how they have two parents who will always be there with a pen to help them write.

My god daughter doesn’t have two parents.  She only has her mom.  The Dad decided to not stick around.  I wish I could meet him and tell him how much of a mistake he is making, but you can’t fix everybody, and selfishly, it gives me more time to get to watch this kid grow.  I wonder if she will grow up missing her Dad, will she wonder about him and think about what life would have been like with him in it.  It’s never a question I had to answer.  My wife had a really good friend that grew up without a Dad, but honestly the Mom was a superhero, and still is, so it never felt like something was missing to me.

But, then I think about the advantages this little girl has.  See, she’s growing up in a house filled with love.  She’s got tons of people on her team.   From her mom, who she might never fully understand, will forever be her #1 cheerleader, to my parents, who are basically gourmet chefs without a restaurant, to her bodyguards (my kids), to her Uncles who are really good men, and will be great examples of what a real man is.  She basically is living like a Kardashian minus the camera crew and the hundreds of millions of dollars.  Although her Mom loves putting her on snapchat so maybe she does have that camera crew!

I spend a good amount of time with my god daughter.  If you have seen my Instagram she is all over it.  Cutest kid I have ever seen (besides my own girls in case they are reading this). I see her every couple of days when I visit, but once a week she comes and hangs at my house.  She destroys the house.  She dances in our living room all while throwing cheerios under every piece of furniture we own.   But, she is here, she is home here.  She isn’t a guest.  We aren’t babysitting, or at least it doesn’t feel like we are.  She is part of our tribe.

I’ll be forever grateful to my sister for bringing this gift into the world.  She knew all along how special this girl was going to be.  All the other noise didn’t matter.  She was put in a tough spot, but she knew that this baby girl would be her light.

I often look at her and think about her Dad though.  It makes me sad for her, as I never saw it as an option to not be with my kids.  But, then I quickly remember how much joy this little girl sees on a daily basis and it brings a smile to my face. She does something that makes me laugh and I remember how lucky I am to have her in my life.

When she was first born and I would hold her she would cry like crazy.  I would give her to back to her mom, or even my wife and the screaming would stop.  This happened for about 6 months or so.  It’s like she was saying “I can’t believe you picked this guy, what an idiot, get him away from me”.  Over time, and with lots of small bribes, I started to win her over.  Now we are best pals. When I walk into her house she is always ready for a fight or a chase around the table. I can feel the love and I think she can feel it too. I don’t know for sure, cause she only speaks in song lyrics and whatever the latest movie quote is, but I think the love is there.

I will brag about her just as I do with my kids.  Being a Dad is great, I love it.  But, being a God Father is probably the greatest job of all time.  I get to teach her bad words, show her how to chew gum, give her too much candy, and drop her off at home for bedtime!

So, when the “father/daughter” dances come up, or things like that, my god daughter will have her Grandfather, and three uncles fighting to be the one that gets to bring her.   When she gets older and she has questions, which she may, I know I would, she will always be surrounded by love.  Not sure that will solve everything for her, but she will always have tons of shoulders she can cry on, and tons of help getting back on her feet.

Not every story that is written is the same. That would be too boring. Some stories have tough times in them, but if you look around during those tough times your tribe is right there with you, helping you fight whatever battle you are in.

Only time will tell what her story will be, but I can’t wait to watch her write it!

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