Poop Saturday

The US calendar has lots of Monday Holidays.  I love Monday Holidays!  An extra day off work, or for me, an extra day in the yard to get stuff done and an extra day to yell at the kids to clean their rooms.

A few years ago, on Martin Luther King Jr Day, I was off work, kids were off school but my wife had to work so I decided that lunch would be some type of fast food.  We picked Burger King because we never go there and one of the kids said they loved the fries.  Also, I didn’t hate that on King Day we went to Burger King.  See, I’m a sucker for stupid little coincidences.

Well, this turned out to be an EPIC lunch.  We got our food and sat down and were just talking when there was a break in the conversation and we hear a very loud fart from a table near us.  We all turned to see this guy sitting at a table by himself with his face turning as red as Rudolph’s nose.  We turned back around and started losing our minds with laughter.  We just could not help it.  It is like that laugh you know you shouldn’t be doing, but there is nothing that will stop you, the church laugh…

We have a few more chuckles and finish eating.  We talk about all the funniest farts that have ever happened and we decide that is our favorite.  Then we get up to throw our food away and my oldest drops all her leftover food and ketchup ALL over the floor.  We pick up what we can and start the laughing all over again and as we are stumbling to our car we decided that from now on every Martin Luther King Jr Day we would go to Burger King, a tradition we have kept for a few years.

Another thing we do when there is a Monday Holiday is on Sunday morning we wake up and wish each a happy 2nd Saturday, because it feels like we get two Saturdays that weekend.  So, me being the weirdo I am I tell them that because #1 is pee and #2 is poop that the Sunday before a Monday holiday will forever be known as POOP SATURDAY.

My family is weird and I take full responsibility for that.

Very recently my youngest joined the club all women are in.  Being a guy my whole life obviously I have no understanding of what this entails or how traumatic it is, I really only need the kids to know I am here for them.  We sat down at dinner, my wife and two girls and I and I started asking the DUMBEST questions about tampons and period underwear and they all teamed up against me, called me an idiot and laughed at me.  And it was perfect!  It was exactly what I wanted to have happen.  I wanted them to know that although I have no clue what any of that is about I am here when needed. I like that the kids know that they are smarter than me when it comes to that stuff. I think it’s super good for them to have something over me. Something that bonds them together. They will be on the planet a lot longer than me, god (or whatever you believe in) willing, so having them remembering how dumb Dad was when Aunt Flow first arrived is a memory I hope they share.

There is a quote at the end of a Modern Family episode where Jay (Ed O’Neil) says “90% of being a Dad is just showing up”.  I think that is exactly what I am doing with these kids sometimes.  I’m here…. The rest of it we will figure out together.

Trust in your tribe and be there for the little things.  Someday they will need you for the big things.

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