The End….

My family goes a little crazy around the time that my brother in law comes home from San  Francisco.  We love it, trust me, but some of us are worried about the small amount of time we get to see him and how they are always thinking about how quickly it will be over.  I came up with this dumb sentence that just says “enjoy the middle, worry about the end later”…   But, during this quarantine I find myself just looking forward to the end.  My mind drifts to the end of all of this and just hugging my Mom, awkwardly kissing my Dad on the cheek as he tries to pull away from me.

As I drift and think about all the things I’ll get to do in a few months (hopefully) I get mad at myself for not following my own advice.  Enjoying this time stuck with my wife, my two beautiful daughters and my dog, the man, the myth, the legend Max.  But, the walls are closing in, tempers are at an all time high.  I’m yelling for everyone to shut up while I am working and trying to take conference calls.  The kids are being lazy so I get pissed off.  My wife and I are sharing the kitchen table as our work spaces.  My wife is teaching dance classes remotely, my daughters are taking dance classes so there is literally no space to escape.  I’m living in an actual nightmare.  But, then I remember a couple years ago I committed to this positive mindset.  Negative people and things I just don’t concern myself with.

So, as much as it pains me, it’s time for me to look at the positives of all this.  Like, last night I got to watch my oldest daughter take a ballet class with her friends.  Her teacher was awesome, I loved hearing her tell each kid to fix a foot or a step or not to adjust their back position.  I just loved getting a look into what she is doing every single night when she is at the dance studio during our normal lives.  I was smiling ear to ear.

Or, watching my youngest become a chef right in front of my eyes.  She’s learning how to cook all for herself.  I’ve even been the beneficiary of a few eggs and waffles for breakfast.  She has the patience and the smarts  to cook.  When I told her they offer cooking in school next year she lit up, because to her that is not a regular class.  She enjoys that, just as she randomly enjoys her science classes.  She is learning that school doesn’t have to be math and reading all the time.  But, what I know is you do a ton of math and reading in cooking and science, so she will get what she needs from school.  Makes me happy when she follows up on a passion.

I also have gotten a few reminders that my wife is a superhero.  She quickly transitioned into this new life, helping her dance studio get up and running on all these online classes, organizing schedules and being tech support for all of it.  I get to actually see how hard she works, and it is unreal.  I finally understand that when she shuts off it’s because she put everything she had into the day.  The best example I got to see of my wife being a superhero was when we recently did a refinance.  We got back an appraisal that we felt was low.  We sulked for a few minutes, thinking about our options.  I thought, damn we could have saved a good amount of money on this, but it wasn’t in the cards.  But, my wife then got to work.  She reviewed all the documents and researched a bunch of other sells in our area.  She spent three hours on this while I sat on the couch and finished up Season 1 of Jack Ryan on Amazon Prime.  She sat in her misery for 5 minutes and got to work,  it was incredible to see.  She submitted her research back and then after a couple days the appraiser upped his value by $20,000.  It changed our financial outlook for the near future, all from the work she did.  What an awesome human she is.

My boy Max had been getting on my nerves a bit too.  He is used to having the house to himself all day, so we are invading his space.  He’s barking and acting a little crazy, but I decided to offer him a truce this morning.  I cooked him bacon and eggs.   I’m gonna take my “positivity” and get him to see he will miss having us all around.  Warming up all of his seats on the couch, and making sure his belly is full all day.

So, while this does SUCK a bit.  There are worse things in the world than being stuck in a house with the people you love the most in this world. My kids aren’t little, so I can’t even imagine what life is like right now with them at those ages, but I do know that you will never get this time back.  You will remember this, and you will appreciate this time so much more when we return back to normal and everyone is back to moving in a million different directions.  2020 will still be filled with hugs, and kisses and travel and all of things we love to do will return.  I’m no Dr. Fauci, but I know that in my heart.  2020 will be remembered for lots of things.  But, I hope you can look back at this mess and remember those nights you cooked breakfast for dinner, maybe had a little too much wine and you invented new card games with your favorite people.  We are lucky to be here, and I am learning that more than ever during this time.  Maybe I’m just in a good mood because I went hunting for toilet paper on Saturday morning and I found a nice 20 pack so my butt is safe for a few more weeks.  I don’t know what it is, but I know, as you should, we are damn lucky to be alive.  Embrace it, learn more about those people you share your space with.  If you are lucky, you live 80 years or so.  This is nothing but a moment in time.  Remember it, and use it when we are back in this world and someone treats you like shit.  See, they don’t know the secret, they don’t know remember how lucky we are.  Smile at them and be extra nice to the next stranger you see.  Pass on those good vibes, they will travel more than ever now that we have all experienced what life is like without all the noise.

Enjoy the middle, don’t worry about the end…





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