My Wife Sucks

A week or so ago my wife was at a friend’s house and her friend was having a bit of an argument with her husband. She turned to my wife and apologized, and my wife said, “for what, I’m fighting with Mark about a spider right now”. Her friend made a comment about my blog and how everything in my life is fantastic and how our relationship seems perfect. My wife said she almost passed out from laughter. She said to her friend “don’t believe what you see on social media”.

So, now I have to set the record straight. I have to tell you all the reasons why my wife is the WORST. I have to tell you all the family secrets, all the juicy stuff that never sees a blog or a social media silly post. So, here goes….

This one time, at band camp…. What do you think, I’m crazy???? Sorry, I love my wife, she’s beautiful, smart, funny, sexy, incredibly hard working, best Mom on this planet, and a million other words that wouldn’t even coming close to describing all the things she is to me. She’s my everything.

We’ve had some days, sure. I’ve slept on that couch more than the dog ever has. I have a few topics I can’t blog until she dies, but she’s smart enough to know I’ll go long long before she does. And, even if that doesn’t happen there’s no way my old ass will remember any of those funny, embarrassing things about my best friend. Those memories will die with us and we both know the story is just better that way.

When your deep in the middle of raising kids, you don’t see the time passing. You don’t recognize those little moments because you know you have a million more to see. But as our kids get older, we are seeing more “lasts” than I think we were ready for. As my oldest is a few months away from getting her license I know our car rides to and from her dance studio are coming close to not happening anymore. Those rides are where I make my money. They are where I get to learn the secrets. I get to tell them mine and we get to share in father daughter conversations that I could never get sick of. Those conversations have changed over time, and went from Barney sing alongs to 16 year old girl stuff, life is much more complicated for a 16 year girl than almost anyone on this planet, and I get to here all about it, even if it’s just a 15 minute car ride.

My youngest is in her last year before high school. She’s this incredible person who I still am trying to figure out. I can’t get a read on her sometimes and I think that is what makes her just the best type of person. I live with her, seen her almost every single day of her life and I don’t know for sure if her favorite show ever is Friday Night Lights or Dance Moms. I love how stubborn she can be, I love her will to get her way, to force you to clean her room because she can last longer than you in her room with clothes basically doubling as a rug.

But, with them both on the move, loving being out of the house more than in it, that leaves myself and this beautiful woman, who for reasons I’ll never understand decided long ago I was worth keeping around, home “alone”. Just last Sunday we were alone almost all day. We went for a long walk, talked, laughed and stressed together a bit about the future. Almost as if we were getting to know each other again a little bit. Getting a glimpse of what our life is becoming. Where do we fill in all that space that our kids have taken up for so long?

Kids are all consuming of our lives. They fill our days so much that sometimes it’s not until my wife starts to rub her feet together under the sheets in bed that I remember who she is. We both are going to miss the hustle that it takes to raise kids, I know for sure my wife will. She’s been running with her gas tank close to empty for years. When I see her gas tank close to empty I pick up a few more rides or I take on a little more responsibility so she can put her feet up and rest, but when I check in on her, she just has moved on to the next project. Designing a program for her second job or preparing for her next drone flight for her first job. Oh yeah, that’s right, she studied and got her drone license for work because why not put something more on her plate. She’s continues to just move and impress me all the damn time.

I hope as the kids move away from us, both physically and emotionally, that my wife will be able to be proud of who she raised them to be. I hope she’s able to just sit with a glass of La’nell Italian Brunello wine and get fat with me on the couch. I look back at our lives and of course I smile, but my favorite thing now is that I look forward and do the same. Sure, it will be weird dating my wife again, but I think, no, I know, we are going to love whatever is next for us. Life is a beautiful thing…

Categories: Uncategorized

1 reply »

  1. I should let you keep your illusions, Mark. But, nah. Five minutes of freedom before you get conscripted to look after the grandchildren. My eldest has her learner’s permit). 😉


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