Beauty and the Beast

The Youthful Offender Program (YOP) had ambitious goals. The Green Mile and I had lower, padded case numbers, but they were far from easy. We were tasked with younger adults who were almost destined for failure based on their criminal history, family and friends, and our omnipotent assessment system. In addition, they were all ages 18-25 with a natural instinct to rebel and resist. I once read (okay, watched a reel) a study that found most people don’t have a fully developed brain until they turn 25. That was clear with most of our probationers. Our goal was to not arrest, and to keep them from committing more crimes. We had access to programs others did not and were allowed time to build relationships with them and their families in hopes of influencing them enough to make changes in their lives. Permanent changes, changes they would buy into, not forced on them.

I was assigned Brooke, a stunning 20 year old female. Blonde and blue. She had a smile that would light up a room and she knew how to get attention. She used her good looks to get her out of trouble and would flirt with anyone to get what she wanted. Whenever we would check on her, The Green Mile and I would make sure we had a female officer with us and never, ever let her get close. Brooke was associated with an older group of males who introduced her to Methamphetamines. It wasn’t long before she was hooked. They had her helping with distribution and finding new customers. It was an even balance of power however, Brooke had most of them eating out of her hand, using her beauty to manipulate. I ordered her to attend the YOP’s exclusive Narcotics Anonymous meetings and individual therapy with our resident drug and alcohol counselor. I remember the counselor was particularly concerned with Brooke because he saw so much potential in her but she was so helplessly addicted.

“She just keeps using because she has no consequences.  Her young body just bounces back. No hangover, no bad feelings, no missing teeth.. not yet,” he said with genuine care; he had a daughter of his own about the same age. 

The Green Mile was assigned Nick, a 24 year old Mexican American male who was caught dealing drugs. He loved his weed, but didn’t seem to be particularly interested in anything else. Nick was fit and was always wearing white tank tops, also known as the “wife beater” top. Nick often had his friends at his apartment, none had a criminal history, but it was only a matter of time before that changed. One afternoon while checking on Nick, Brooke was there. After some detailed detective work, The Green Mile and I put together that Nick and Brooke ran with the same crowd. Elementary, my dear Watson (google it). After further investigation, we discovered the two were in a relationship. A match made by the cosmos. 

Unfortunately it didn’t last, at least not for Brooke. She was moving up the latter within the group of drug dealing misfits and Nick was not at the top. He was left broken hearted. She didn’t completely abandon him though, she would hang out with him once in a while, when she would need a boost to her ego. He would do anything for her, including methamphetamines. Nick was quickly addicted, but didn’t bounce back as quickly as Brooke. Thankfully, he recognized his problem and asked for help. He was enrolled in one of the toughest residential drug and alcohol programs in town. They did not mess around and after a long 90 days, Nick was clean, ready to graduate, and go home. The Green Mile and I attended his graduation along with Nick’s parents. They were very proud of their son. He gave a quick speech and even thanked The Green Mile and I. Yeah, it’s a humble brag – so what?!?  Nick was home for no more than month before the meth dealing goblins were sniffing around his apartment, including Brooke. The band was back together, and Nick was under her spell again. This was hard for The Green Mile and I to watch, as Nick was eroding before our eyes. He was powerless to her and she used him like a rag. This time The Green Mile had to order him back into the program, but he went and powered through. Graduation wasn’t as much of an event, but mom and dad were there and so were we, no speech this time.

We ordered Brooke not to contact Nick anymore, and gave the same orders to him, but true love prevailed. A look at the texts on his phone told us they were still in touch. Nick’s drug tests were clean, but you could tell he was still using. The once healthy looking, muscle bound kid now looked like a fragile old man, beaten down by stress and drugs; his pale, ashy skin wrapped tight around his skeleton like saran wrap, his dark eyes sunk deep in his skull. This time Nick saw the danger he was in, and put himself back in the program.

These programs work if you want them to, but you have embrace the ideology, 100%. Otherwise, they can be hazardous. The irony is, it’s a place to get clean, but it’s also the easiest place to get drugs; it’s loaded with addicts. Not all have the same goal in mind.

On the third week in the program, during his third residency, Nick was found dead in one of the bathrooms. He was sitting on the toilet in one of the stalls, needle in his arm. Mom and dad were destroyed. I don’t think Brooke noticed.

A year later Brooke was picked up on another drug charge and sent to prison. I was marked by her booking photo. She had pock marks on her face and didn’t look quite as brilliant. Over the next few years I’d check on her through her booking photos, seems like she was constantly being arrested for drugs. The once young body that could bounce back was gone. Methamphetamines had sucked away her soul, and she was finally getting consequences. Her beauty was gone. One of the last times I checked on her I had to call The Green Mile over to see. We couldn’t believe how much she had changed. Front teeth missing, pock marks, scabs and scars all over her face, and thinning hair. Like a toothless ghoul with the measles. I put her initial photo next to her most recent. Two completely different people in seven years. Brooke died of an overdose in a dirty $17 hotel room two years later at the age of 29. I hope she stays away from Nick in heaven.