Cleaning out my car in preparation for returning it to the dealership is not always my favorite time.  The car ends up with so much crap in it from the kids different events.   Everything from a comb to boxing gloves to jumper cables has to be taken out of the car.  When I get my new car though I only have a few items that have to make it to the new car.  Jumper cables for obvious reasons, and this little angel trinket thing always make the move to my new car.  

This little trinket was given to me by my wife when she was pregnant with our youngest daughter.   My youngest just turned twelve, so this thing has been around for a very long time.  

When my wife was pregnant with our first daughter she was given a gift, a little angel trinket.  It was an angel in a glass case, but it resembled or symbolized a baby growing inside a belly.   It was small enough to hold in her hand so she would hold it ALL THE TIME.  It helped calm her down and relax during her pregnancy.  Now, I have never been pregnant, although I have gained the pregnancy weight, so I have no idea what that type of stress does to a woman.  My wife was great though, really handled the pregnancy perfectly.   I think part of her being so mentally strong was this little trinket thing.  It seemed to connect her to our child.  I would wake up in the middle of the night and see the trinket had made its way underneath my back or something so I would hold it for a few minutes then put it back in her hand so she would wake up with it. 

After my daughter was born we kept the little trinket on our bureau, was a cool reminder to me about a special time in our lives.  One day, when my oldest was about 2 years old we were doing a big cleaning.  We lived in an apartment at the time.  We cleaned all day, sort of like a big spring cleaning.  We finished and were heading to bed when my wife looked at the dresser and did not see the angel.  She started to freak a little, as that was now a good luck charm of sorts, it had become sort of her security blanket. We looked everywhere, and then my daughter says she was cleaning so she threw it in the trash.  I looked in the trash and of course I had emptied it already and put it in the dumpster behind the apartment.   My wife was crushed… So, I did something that can still earn me brownie points to this day (to which I try to use as often as I can) and I jumped in the dumpster and started opening trash bags and searching thru them.  Took me about an hour or so, but I found it.   Our world was back to normal.  The wife was happy and my daughter stopped crying. 

So, when my wife and I found out she was pregnant again a few months later we were super excited obviously.   I mentioned to my wife that I wanted to have a new angel trinket for our second child.  This one was mine and I did the very same things as my wife did with hers.  I slept with it in my hand, I held it tight when I was stressed.  I made sure it was with me all the time.  

After she was born I put it in my car.  I loved that it was with me there.  I would hold it while driving, and it was a reminder of wherever I was going that I always had her to come home to.  Eventually, I stopped holding it and I just left it in my car and convinced myself it would protect me on the road.  I see less and less of it, sometimes if I am grabbing something from the console I will see it, grab it and hold it and be put right back in that apartment worrying about my little girl growing in my wife’s belly.  

This year when I am buying a car I am buying it with the intention of having my oldest take it when she gets her license in 2 years.  I can’t believe I am actually at a time in my life where I have to think like that.  I will buy a car that I will trust; I will buy a car she won’t be embarrassed driving in.  I will make sure the color is good.  I will look for all the safety features that will protect her.  

Life is so damn fast.  It doesn’t stop or slow down for you, especially when you have kids.  They are a constant reminder that life is moving.  They move from a baby in a belly to a kid on a varsity sports team before you can blink.  Hold on to whatever brings you back to when it all started.  For me, it’s an angel trinket.  At the time a small, very insignificant thing, but now, it’s another thing that when I see it or hold it, rushes me thru a billion memories.

Something so small has my whole world in it.

Small stuff is ALWAYS the big stuff.  

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