I taught my God Daughter at 2 years old to say the word Shit.  Because, it’s funny.  And I thought I could piss off her Mom a little bit.  Give her another challenge with raising her beautiful little girl.   Plus, I’ve never been an Uncle or a God Father but I thought that is what you do.

For a while it was very funny.  She would say it and my kids and I would laugh.  We shared a few videos with her Mom (My Sister), and we thought all was good.  Until, if you are parent you already know this, she started saying it ALL THE TIME.  I mean, she would get a laugh from her uncle and cousins, so she thought everyone would think it is great.  Boy, was she wrong.  Grandma and Grandpa and her teachers at school were not impressed.

Now that she is three she found a new favorite word.  Fuck…. yup, and here is the problem.  She said it to me once and I laughed.  My first reaction was to laugh.   My second was to tell her it was wrong and not say it again, but she saw my first reaction, and that is all she needed.   Now, I don’t have a clue where she heard this word, could be school or wherever, but all I know is she didn’t hear it from me.  But, that little shit, when asked about where she heard it, she said “Uncle Marky.  He teaches me bad words”.  Every time she says a bad word now, she follows it up with “Uncle Marky teaches me bad words”.  That little shit sells me out every time.  And, I never even taught her “fuck” but she knows I taught her “shit” and she knows I will laugh every single time she swears.   I just can’t help myself.  I know it is wrong, I know I got to teach her right and wrong, but my first reaction is always a laugh.

She tells everyone I’m the bad guy.  I’m the bad influence.  Each time we are together she is telling someone that I teach her bad words.   To family it’s no big deal, but the strangers are starting to get to me.  It’s her little way to get back at me for getting in trouble with her Mom.   She embarrasses me in line at a store, telling all that her Uncle Marky teaches her swear words.  I get a little red in the face, laugh it off, and hurry out of the store.

Yesterday, she was over my house.  We get to hang out almost every Wednesday as she comes and hangs out at my house after she is done with school.  I decided it’s time to start my PR campaign to get my good image back.  I decided to teach her that if someone asked about Uncle Marky what she should say.  I said she should say “Uncle Marky loves me very much”.  We practiced on and off for a few hours.  I would interrupt her while she was hanging with her cousins and say “What about that Uncle Marky guy?” and she would say “Uncle Marky loves me very much”.   My image might be able to be saved!

Then she went to her cousins cheer gym and off for an ice cream with my family.  I decided to meet them at the ice cream place.   I needed an excuse to get away from my tv as my favorite hockey team, the Bruins, had a playoff game and I am a mess on nights where they play.  So, I met them for an ice cream.  They were already eating so I just snuck in behind my God Daughter and I said “Hi Beautiful”, she smiled and I said “What’s the deal with your Uncle Marky” and she said “Uncle Marky teaches me swear words”…

That little shit…

I love that little shit…