This past weekend my wife went on a work trip to a dance conference in Atlantic City. I’m sure if you ask her, a weekend away from the house, the kids, the annoying husband was something she really was looking forward to. Go and relax for a weekend, remind yourself you aren’t just a boring Mom. I mean, I do this at least once a year with my friends on our golf trip. It’s not about just getting away from your responsibilities, it really is to remind yourself who you have always been. It’s less and less about how many beers you can drink and more and more about being with people who make you happy, who don’t care about how awesome of a Dad you think you are.
If my kids were 2 and 4 in age or something like that I would have HATED this past weekend. But, they are not. They are like little, very expensive women. They don’t require much from their Dad, other than a ride here or there, a funny joke they can use on their friends, and whatever is left in his wallet. So, these weekends are not about survival anymore, not about wanting to fast forward until Mom is finally home. They are much more about having a little fun.
The kids and I look forward to these weekends a lot. There’s just a different energy when I am in charge. Mom keeps us all alive, she make sure that if our boat is sinking she stops the leaks. She is the reason the kids are good people. We don’t really have any rules when I am the boss. We have a list of things we wanna try and do and my only job is to keep us on pace.
This weekend was one of the great ones. A night walk on the beach, ice cream every night, a fancy dinner, movies that made us cry (My Dog Skip) and laugh (My Cousin Vinny), and lots and lots of swimming at my parents pool. I got to connect with them again, and they connected with each other. I watched them laugh on the beach walk, making fun of me. They don’t have lots of those moments since they are enemies for lots of the day. They can fight over almost anything, so seeing them smile and laugh even though it was at my expense warmed my soul just a little bit.
I’m hoping that my wife was able to recharge her battery a bit. Remember why she loves dancing. Laugh and forget she was a Mom or wife for a little while. These things are super important. When the kids were young I’d be pissed at her for going away and I’d play this game of you “you got to do this” so now I get to do that. I was the WORST. I was so selfish. And I’m lucky my wife stuck around long enough now that I actually look forward to when she is away. It’s a small break for me to. As I say in lots of my stories, the kids don’t need much from me. There is no stress for me on these weekends. I even golfed one of the days. My kids got to lay in a pool for hours while I had a few laughs and sweated thru a few shirts on a golf course with my friends.
I used to selfishly think “when will she be home” and now I look at the calendar to see if there are any nights coming up where she might be out for the night. It’s a weird place to be. I love spending time together, she’s my favorite adult on this planet, but I also love just being with the kids. I know pretty soon they will be too busy for me. My oldest turns 15 in a week, she’s already had a busy summer and once school starts forget about us getting any time to just hang. So, this past weekend was really good for me. I’m starting to appreciate that these times won’t be here much longer. We won’t be fighting about who gets shotgun in the car, or have to make special rules about who’s music we play. We won’t have to fight about who gets to use the only towel we brought to the beach to clean our sandy toes, or which spot on the couch we get to sit on while we cry watching a movie. We won’t have swimming races or see who can hold their breath the longest under water or who can find the most quarters at the bottom of the pool. We won’t fight about Mary Lou’s or Everyday cafe for coffee or any of those small little memories because they will be off being little adults somewhere else.
I’ll miss these type of weekends, even if my wallet won’t.
Categories: Dad of girls